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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I am realli tired... totally exhausted... both mentally and physically... friends.. sch work ... him... its driving me crazy... some sae i think too much ... some sae i adding too much stress to myself... yea... i think so too... too stressful till i dunno if i can continue... for me i think... in life there's 3 types of person u cann turn to when u have prob to share or someone to talk to and lean against ... close family members... true friends... yr boiifriend..
but in the event tht u are single ... u turn tu either yr family or yr true friend... butt sometimes matters at heart are hard to share with family members and they might have their own prob to solve... so true friends... what are true friends??? i start tu have doubts...
i have some prob (not vry nice u devulge or post here) with this friend of mine...
butt all i cann sae is tht somethimes i wonder if i ever stand a place as a friend in her heart... or just a life buoy ( back-up tyre ) of hers??? do i even stand a place in anyone's heart??? sometimes hi byee friends u cann have loads of em... when u wan find someone tu talk ??? to share yr prob?? u'll find tht u're pathetic with no one tu turn to....
life is of good and bad i believe... and evry thing has both sides to it... it depend how u view it and from which angle... maybe i've looked at things from the wrong side thus resulting in my negative thinking... butt sometimes u'll really feel like stopping and all...
QQ told me to fight for my own happiness... butt i've always always hope and wished tht i get tu receive the words of liking from the other party first b4 a relationship starts ... afraid of being rejected ... being hurt if u had said it first and the guy had not realli liked u ... and leads to a break gradually which i saw friends of mine experiencing it... in her relationship with tht guy... she loves him so much tht the guy is dominating and she's the one who does the pacifying even when she's not in wrong.. just to make him stay... isn't this type of relationship painful?? i dunno... maybe different ppl diff views and in diff circumstances... maybe i'm wrong.. i not very experience thus dun wan to comment so much on others since i'm in a mess myself... i was encourage by my friends to tell him my feelings... and if i get rejected so be it... go on and look for my true happiness... butt to even get the words out of my mouth or even type it ... its hard... evrybody is diff... i have my own views and fear... thx for all the friends tht have encourage me and help me... yes i will try ... but tu realli confess ... (我怕我做不到) but its like 明知故问... since he has alrdy shown no interest in me liao.. then wad for... butt they sae : at least u can have a definite ans and can stop guessing... and move on... .... ....
i
am
collapsing...

it ended @ 11:52 PM

I will be waiting