Saturday, May 31, 2008
I dun feel good. I dunno why. But i just dun feel good. Things take time..does it? Saturday blues? i dunno. I just finished my POA test ( my first test in my poly life) hahs. DUn think it was becoz of the POA test i guess tht coz me to feel this way... I JUST DUNNO WHY I FEEL THIS WAY!!!! Can anyone help me??? gosh... =( hiax.... THings tht are mine shuld be declared mine isn't it? just like if a laptop is yrs u declare it yrs when others ask whose is it? u'll feel more comfy with things tht are yrs isn't it? if a lappy is yr friends..definitely u'll be more careful and not so rough with it. just like u'll be more polite with yr friends friends. and u'll be more nice and sweet to yr very close friends. ZZZZZzz i'm like crapping, beating round the bush just to get the msh out tht THings should be declared MINE!!! if they are!!! i dun like it when i'm unsure of things... i also dun like things to dragg and dragg...(althou i'm one who always does tht...it's not good! and i'll try tu change...) I've so many many things to say and to sp many ppl...but i just couldn't get it out...maybe coz i scared after saying things could change either for the better which wuld definitely be good..or for the worse which i cant imagine wad it wuld be like... i dun wan to risk it.. so i'd rather not say... maybe when the right time come..i wuld shoot it all out... heh... I actually got so many wishes and hopes and so many wants ... but i've learn tht things always don go the way u hope and wish it'll be... sometimes u might want this person to give in to u in terms of smth and who knows.. the person might expect u to give in instead.. so a compromise muz be reached, both also give in ... wun tht be nice? or if not.. for some things one party give in .. for another thing the other party give in... more or less it doesn't matter if u love the person.. does it? hahs..
Hiax .... ARh!!! i just feel so ... *ROAR* i also dunno how to explain..='(
evrybody seems to be occupied with something/somebody. ZZZZ... WAH HUH HUH...='( sadded.
Today before i went out of e house i did smth i haven done for quite sometime heh.After I finished wearing my shoes and b4 i stepped out of the house... my dad was saying bb to me.. so i say: papa call mummy here.. faster... i late le..
my dad: why? ookok.( so he called her)
my mom: huh? yes? aiyoh. i cooking noodles half way leh. u forget take wad? ask yr papa la.. got difference meh?
me: no u just cum...( she walked towards me le)
*i hugged her*
mum: hahs .now i see.. yeah there's a great difference. gd luck for yr exam..=)
me: hahs ..yeah! okie...=) bb
hahs yeah tht's me.. still so acting so kiddy huh? hahs. back when i was taking my o'lvl i hugg my mum b4 i go for my exam..everyday..it sort of assured me.* sort of like luck *?.. hahs no la... maybe just to make myself feel tht there's someone rooting for me and yah i just like tht feeling of being hugged by my mum too... heh.. Tht's why young kids hug their mum.. when they grow old they hug their bf/gf then older they hug their spouse..and back to the cycle of hugging their kids. heh. everyone need some kind of love and rooting in physical forms.. i think. hahs. BUT ! i think.. a person hug is precious. so ppl.. dun anyhow give yr hug to anione huh... and dun let just anione to hug u ...
WAh!!!! i like crapping... i'm just solely sian-ed. i'm not very "into" anything de. hahs just now someone asked me..do u have any beliefs in yr life? i said yes. some belief to keep me motivated and to go on... hahs i've also mention in my previous posts tht i'm one who believe in almost evrything-any religion and their belief. i can belief listen and try to understand but i'll not be TOO tied down by anything. or wuld i say erm... just not too "into" a certain thing... hahs. coz i dun like it..i prefer neutral.. Thts me . =)
it ended @ 2:33 PM
I will be waiting
Friday, May 30, 2008
This photo taken tht day LMS skid practice ... hahs... i was rehersing how to act as a teacher to see how my student(kai jun) cut himself on the wrist... dunno why yan ling was in place when this photo was taken hahs...
This photo >> heh is to motivate me!!! notes... its like only 2 months and the notes and stacking high... heh! i need to self motivate .. since now yixin diff sch as me and we cant always meet up le...then no one to 'fight' and urge me on... thou QQ is my always "target" hahs. coz she just good...anw.yupps tht's it . tml need wake up early too.. so ya .. nities..=)
Felt so stressed up by everything... coz i slacking too much eh? dunno also... hahs ... stil rmb the times back when i was in my sec sch days... when exams timetable was like so packed... 1-2 exam paper per day continuously... study till siao .. heh.. but back then i use to go je lib early in the morning and study til like bout 8 plus with Yixin... hahs so huai nian... hahs... also rmb-ed tht when i was studying halfway til i so stressed especially when i doing A-math.. i wuld burst out crying to myself as in tears roll down my cheeks.. aft the cry-out i'll feel much better ,its like sort of a release for me... or if i'm very stressed or vexed i go hug my mum ... hahs ... just feel like relying on someone for a while...feel so tired liaos... hahs tht's wad i felt today... as i grew older i hug my mum lesser... so when i hugged her today ... i hug her for like so long.... it's been so long since i last hug someone... hahs ... my mum tot what happen to me ...i didn say anything... i just feel tired out. hahs and feel like leaning on someone dependable and hugging someone tht i feel secure with and loved.. heh. my mum meets all criteria.. hahs... but sort of weird ... 2 ladies hugging tgt..=.= hehs.
Took this photo with QQ!!! hahs i always grumble to her de.. we share abt this and tht and talk abt everything under the sun hahas...I like always blogg at this hour hahs... i like nite time..hhahs i feel calm and peaceful at nite... when my brothers are asleep or when they are occupied with their own things and evrything just seem so nice hahs ... when its so quiet... so romantic .. heh... POA test is on sat ... countdown- 2 more days .. i so stressed by it ... hx say i hav no confidence in myself... i hope it is just tht too... but i scared i cant do well and dunno how to do the qns during exams... =( so all i can do is practice, practice and practice... think A-math easier lor..just applying the formula...POA requires debit credit ajusting entries... but i wun deny tht its quite fun thou... and the feeling of satisfaction when the trail balance balances out... think i'm having a bit slowness in the adjusting entries part hahs.hope i can get it rite b4 sat.=) jia you to myself man!!! heh.
it ended @ 12:23 AM
I will be waiting
Thursday, May 29, 2008
STUDY!!! heh .. a bit of self motivation .. hahs... today went back to sch and studied at our space... haix... when i took out the POA past yr exam paper tht i printed- source frm np lib i look at the qns and i feel like sleeping... this week supposedly to be e-learning week and can sleep til late late... BUT!!! i woke up at 7 or 8 am evryday !!! hahs coz meeting QQ to 'study'.... we meet at AYE busstop then took 97 to jurong east lib... i cant study in morning de.... i study better at night... i yawn in the morning most of the time instead of studying... hahas ... so we just talk and chat bout evrything... she asked me some things today and told me somethings.... ya ... hahs then she wuld leave at 1pm to meet kenny... then i go meet someone else to study... hahs .. i requested to meet at 1030 instead ltr... hahs so i get tu sleep more... =P heh... today i see the POA test paper... i think very difficult... i need to refer back to notes...=(
oh no.... i think i need to get more practice frm the past yr exam paper liaos... i slow learner some more... takes more time to pick things up than others... heh its not pestimistic ..its just tht i know my flaws and i'm going to work on it!!! heh... jia you to myself!!!=)
QQ say i shuld give chance to those ard me and open up to love instead of confining myself to just someone... she say frm wad she see... he is just toying with me...( i said things to 'protect' him.. but i cant outtalk her in this case..coz ya i also dunno wad she say is true not... and cant help but to be affected but what she mentioned earlier) there's no definite ans given nor action to proof or state anything... "so u shuld just let go and try out with others..."
i dunno... when i heard wad she say... my qns to myself was ... can love be tried out?
QQ: if u dun give others a chance how u know u and the guy wun be happi?if really not happi then can break... its not as if u are getting married now... and what if u and the guy u gave chance to is happi aft u both tgt? u nv know until u try...
ME: (wanted to argue back... but was lost at words...)
QQ: u will be happier with someone who loves u more than u love ... for a gal its hurtful and painful if u really love the guy and even if the guy love u back ... it wun be as deep as yr love for him...
ME: but ever since *** i told myself i have to go for someone i truly like and thus i didn go into a relationship for so long...
QQ: if u dun wan to let go... u'll always be stuck at this spot...
ME: hahs ... no need let go nor wad... i now dun think of anything liaos.. i wait till CTs over.
QQ: can u do it? ask yrself ... can u ?
ME: eh... i think i cann.. hahs ... hopefully...
QQ: liying... i can see tht ___ is a vry good boii friend material... give yrself a chance and others... ( up to here i almost shut down frm listening liaos...heh..)
ME: ai yah .. dunno lar... smtimes not say wan competely let go can so easy de... hahs ..but at least i'm not feeling as worse as when i first started iking him... can at least balance my feelings now heh.
i was thinking..." can one be judge to be worthy of another's love ???" hahs anw ... she's the experienced one.. she pro man.... maintained her r/s with kenny for 2 yrs plus and stil get such good results... wah ... pei fu man! hahs ... all e bez to them anw... ( okays editted... if not QQ wan sue me for defamation lerr ahhs )
It's getting late... hahs. my schedule for CT:
SAT: POA 1100-1230
MON: MAEC 0830-1000
THURS: BLAW 0830-1000
FRI: BSTA 0830-1000
it ended @ 12:46 AM
I will be waiting
Monday, May 26, 2008
Didn blog for about a week le... was rather busy this week... weekdays i was busy with the tutorials i've to complete. on sat which was the day b4 ytd .. went out with my sc,sb... none of the yr 1 except me went... hahs .. but it was quite fun afterall... met jasmine and alan at 2.30pm at orchard mrt station and decided to watch movie at ps instead so took bus there... waited for edwin and ian til bout 3.30!!! hahs then we ate at the foodcourt. i ordered fried dong fen( smth like bee hoon liddat) then its like the whole portion abt 3/4 is tao gei...(bean sprout) zzzzz... so i left half the portion ... heh.. wanted to watch narnia but wasnt out yet so go for indiana jones instead... but all filled upp... i wanted iron man... but onli me and alan haben watch all others watch liaos. so we went to cathay instead... we settled on chocolate which was at abt 6.15 pm... and it was onli 4 plus at tht time.. edwin left for his church and joining us after our movie..we went to starbucks and each settled on a drink and wasted time til 6. after movie met edwin... they suggested pool at toa payoh... but it was like 8 plus liaos... so i say no... ( actually i dunno how to play also..=X wanted to learn... sm one say'll teach me... dunno true not... ) then we head to esplanade... ate at makan sutra... shared satay and sat in font of victoria concert hall there and chat abt lame things.. heh. then took some photos... ian head home there and we walk to the bustop at esplanade there to take bus... they suggested nxt outing to be night safari... hey tht wuld be fun!!! haha... i'm waiting... hahs i reached home at abt 12 plus am ... bro went tu busstop to fetch me..=))
Today i went to je lib to 'study' nth nuch went in to my head actually... mind is preoccupied with smth... QQ keep asking me to go walk walk... so we went walking lorr... at abt 1215 we left... we took 51 back to west coast... stop one stop b4 whr we shuld alight and went to play the swings instead... wah.. how i miss those swings... stil rmb e times when me and yun fang went there after sch or after our exams to relax... we swing swing swing... the higher i swing all the more my worries get swing out for tht moment... and i free frm stress... but sm times we'll go there when we are troubled over certain things... today i went back there ... reminisce the past... me and QQ talked abt evrything... hahs.. yea ..got to the subject of love... HOW wuld u ppl define love???
Someone told me he'd a diff kind of love maybe coz he's a Christian....i think so too... i'll elaborate y i think so ltr.. but for me at this point of time in my life... as a teenager i think love is a special feeling, an affection for tht special someone...tht brings 2 tgt... yes .. i agree tht feeling wil fade thus its comittment, compromise, love, sacrifice giving in and more tht last a couple thru the very end... and it takes 2 person to work on it inorder for tht relationship to be a success... ok back to y i think i agree tht he as a christian have a diff love from maybe me..(me wuld be a better word than others) i think evryone wuld have a diff definition of love... for him he say love is unconditional... if a gal vry vry good to him ... he might consider marrying her .. coz love is unconditional... i think ... their love for god is unconditional... tht can be understooded..=) but does the same kind of love applies tu yr future partner too? unconditonal as in what? u dun expect any returns? but if u really really love tht someone of coz u wuld hope he wuld reciprocate.... wuld u love someone and does a lot of thing for him/her until u die??? even if he/she is married le? u wun expect anything in return? if not then why are u doing so much?what i'm trying to say is... unconditional love tht christian have for god is it the same type of love for their future spouse??? just like the way u love yr family members is diff from the kind of love u have for yr gf/bf. tht's my perception la... maybe my kind of love is too shallow... hahs ...
Someone asked me... liying... wuld u convert to islam if yr future husband is a malay??? i say no. she asked y? if u love him ..y not??? for me ... my belief is tht if 2 person really love each other no matter what religion... they cant be seperated ONLY if mutual respect is present... if u respect yr spouse religion ya i think it wuld be ok... hahs i'm a freethinker myself... i belief in evrything... i like cultural things and i like to know about other religion and race.. i dun mind going to mosque...temple...church....hindu temple... hahs ... coz i think its so interesting...heh..
not onli religion bah... its the same for race i guess... tht's why u see indian and chinese couple and so many diff mixture of race... but i think most imptantly is how they view and respect each other religion and their family backgrd... if the family doesn support of their relationship ...its gona be so hard ... but i know of a couple tht got tgt in the very end... sweet isnt it? like fairy tale cum true...
sia la.. my post rather long... hahs so much to say hor me. heh. yupp tht's it for today... whooo... hope i can really concentrate on studying for my upcoming CTs .. =))
it ended @ 2:02 PM
I will be waiting
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
My god bro... a good one thou.. hahas his eyes not fully open yet(i woke him upp.. he sleep til so late lar...zzz !!!!)... got him to accompany me to jurong entertainment centre sine it's so near his house.... think i was waiting for someone or going tu buy smth dat day ... i forget liaos..hahs anw..HAPPY BIRTHDAY!-belated...may yr birthday wish(wadeva u wish for) to cum true.... thx for eveything bro!
My LMS grp! Kai Jun, Yen Ling, Me, Amanda and Hup Song.( left tu right). We did our skid at esplanade.It's been quite some time since i last been there... Memories... hahas ... memories shuld not be forgotten put kept aside as history rite?hahasGuan Yu and Me(drinking lychee red tea!)
Hahas zi lian a bit... haha tu cheer me upp... zzzz... heh... nth tu do ar ...
Hey! This is my bestie too...Yi Xin! my sec sch mate... hahas ... we always did our revision tgt... it's good studying with her ... coz i can't really study with a friend tht does the same subject as me... hahs i get stressed when i see them doing it well whereas i cant get it. I'm slower in understanding and i need time... hhaha and maybe coz she studies POA i study A-math we dun stress each other upp... she taught me combine science and i teach her e-math... ahhas.She's in JC now.. she studies A-math now and i study POA now... so hahas we teach each other. hehs! so still meet tu study ... and chit chat about ... ... hahas ...=)
Wahhaa... zzzz ... matt and weiju commented tht my blog like essay ... ahahs so i make this post into a photo gallery... heys ben goi's birthay was on 17th may! my god bro! hey... a good one though... hahas ...
Me and yan ling..hehs
Funny eh! for this blog post the words always go missing even after i publish it... edited quite a few times liaos sia... edit til i sianz liaos..=.= ALl the words missing... i too lan duo to retype for the umpteenth time le... hiax... brief discription:
1st photo: me and ben goi. a good god bro..happi belated birthday!
2nd photo: me and my lms group. kai jun, yanling, me, amanda, hup song( left 2 right) went tu esplanade open sapce the top there tu practice skid.=X
3rd photo: me and guan yu!
4th photo: me! hahs i zi lian .. nth to do at home so take photo... zzzz hahs occupy myself with smth tu do onli..
5th photo: me and yixin. a bestie of mine! went tu study tgt occasionally... =))
6th photo: me and yan ling!
it ended @ 11:48 PM
I will be waiting
Bzzzzzzzzzzzaaaarrrrrrrr...... too stressed up liaos... DSS assignment.. POA test ... DSS PBL qns... onli these things are on my head now... no time for anything else... hmmm this stressed period might be good for me instead if i look at it from another point of view... it occupied a lot of space in my mind abt all the tests , presentation, powerpoint, quiz, tutorial, assignments... whoa! really sia... maybe cause i'm slow in catching wad the tutor say tht's why i am so stressed upp... nxt week is e-learning week le! really have tu buck upp! no time for anything... most imptly keep my mind off "him" . my onli distraction.. hahas
STUDYING can be sort of fun at times ... =) i miss the period of studying just b4 o'lvl... studying with my besties..=) hahas. BUTT!!! there's a saying: STUDY HARD AND PLAY HARD !!! hehs .. so i wun miss out my chatting on phone( provided tht the phone rings ahahs) and going out on one day during the weekends... tu pamper myself... tht's wad someone taught me...=))today went tu sun tec .... with amanda , yen ling , hup song and kai jun...=) will post the pics up by nxt post if posible... gotta learn my poa quiz liaos ...
it ended @ 12:25 AM
I will be waiting
Monday, May 19, 2008
I cant feel you...
ytd afternoon when i heard that we were suppose tu hand in our dss pbl qns by ytd... i was so shocked... i tot it was due on wed instead...didn know why... i felt so stressed upp... and i almost cried..=X arghhhhh .... just felt so tensed upp... but luckily it's grp submission so hazel handed it in and we'll be meeting on tue for a discussion on our presentation and i think i will need their help in my pbl qns... up to now i stil have my maec and bsta tutorial to go... poa i'm left with the last qns....sometimes feel like really have a real hard cry.... to take the chance and cry out all my unhappiness, all the stress i have accumulated and all the saddness .... Then after that cry i'll be okay i guess... sometimes i really hoped that someone(cannot be anione la"ppl whom i'm close to or what..") will be beside me in my saddess and happiest point of life... hahas it's like fat hope!
I went tu causeway with YiXin ytd... saw herleen at jurong east mrt... coz i met yixin at jurong library tu study ... and stupid me! i Brought my notes but i forget tu bring my tb tht contain the qns..=.= zzzzz.....
Herleen was meeting hanisah and sofyan( dunno how tu spell..=X ) at yew tee mrt and they are going tu causeway too... but to catch a movie... me and yixin spend sometimes walking at causeway then we went tu the library there tu find a socket for me to charge my handphone..=P hahas coz ya no batt liaos... i keep on listening tu the music... then yixin kept complaining tht she's hungry ... she asked her " friend" and he told her tht the banquet was nice... we couldn find the banquet so we went to the kopitiam instead... and while we were lookimg for a place... yixin stop me... someone stop behind me... and it was "him" ! he just finish buying drinks... i said hi... i was shocked tu see him... yah .. but i too paiseh liaos ... went off tu get our food and ya rushed of... yixin was in quite a rush .. hahas yah... and there's two cheng yu here: 有缘无份 and 有缘千里能相会... hahs which cheng yu apply leh? ...i dun think there's a ans.. 或许是我太在意他了...thus causing the saddness tht filled me now..
someone said tu me: sometimes..学着放弃才是解脱....
Go with the flow... =))
it ended @ 11:10 AM
I will be waiting
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Days are passing by so quickly... On fri i went tu sch at abt 1030 with QQ. i bought a sandwhich and sat at atrium... There's a grp of ppl celecbrating birthday for someone... so there's quite some noise..hahs then oh shit! i took out my laptop then i forget tht i didn bring my charger too..=.= zzzzz... coz i dun have the habit of putting the batt in my laptop so ..ya .. bring laptop = nv bring...
DSS !!! arhh..... PBL qns.... after this post i am going to tackle my PBL qns... zzz like so difficult..=( ... sadd... still got loads of tutorial waiting for me... wah huh huh... so sianx sia... hmmm... maybe i shuld get into the mood of studying and mugging rite now... coz nxt week is a short week. mon is public holiday! hahas yea... feel like going out on mon after my project work... but zzz all my friends stay so far sia... ok.. then tue , wed , thurs. Fri is so called slack de... just 2 hours of LMS. then the nxt week after would be e-learning week...zzz... dunno how it'll be like... think i just sleep til vry late... huh... but! the following week after e-learning week is COMMON TEST week le!!! so fast lorr!!! hahas but after tht will be HOLIDAY! yea ! heheh... Well ... may evrything goes well for me... hahas =)
Hmmm ... like cant feel my heart... hmmm.... dunno wad tu say too... i've actually got so much so much to say and so much so much tht i'll like tu hear .. really ... but... out of a sudden i cant get anything out... at loss for words... things always dun happen the way i expected it...so is it smth good or bad? will things turn out good or bad? There was once when the 路人甲 tag on my tagbox... from all the words he say i tot he was "him" tot he was concern abt how i felt and all..but yea.. i was wrong the路人甲 wasn't anyone i knew at all. hahas ..ya but we're friends now.... little have i knew those who really really reaad my blog post frm the first to the last and those friends who really cared abt me r all ard me! felt so touched..=") hmpf... guess i am bringing my hopes too high.. am i? there's a saying 希望越高，失望越 大。 is there any confirmation? i dun wan false hope and neither do i like it when "he" say " if u dun say.. ltr i dun talk tu u uh!" coz i think tht shuld be a girls line! hahas.... my own perception again... ! zzzz... hahas... better dun continue on lerrs... ltr someone say all my post emo.. ahahs =))
Okays tht's all for today... HAHA .. someone say my blog is so colourful .. yea! hahas coz i wan my life to be as colourful too..=) i wan it to be more than rainbow colours..is it possible? ahas
it ended @ 8:09 PM
I will be waiting
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Take my hand and i'll go with you... i mean what i say... but onli tu u ... and onli if u really mean it... this is a story i'lllike to share.. :
An amazing Love Story
He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him.. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised.
They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home.... suddenly he asked the waiter. 'would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee.' Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby? He replied: 'when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there'.
While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: 'My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life!
Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee again'.
Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied.
Love is Not 2 forget but 2 forgive,
Not 2 c but 2 understand,
Not 2 hear but 2 listen,
Not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!
Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like,
because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, '...that's her.'
May my love story would be as beautiful...=) and hope evry one elses too...
it ended @ 11:11 PM
I will be waiting
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Are we meant for each other?? this qns went thru my mind more than once evryday haha...Sometimes i look back at the things i've done and realise how stupid i was... and how silly... hahas nowadays is it a trend or does it really comes from the heart tht ppl pat my head when they walk pass.. either i'm shorter than them or mostly i'm sitting down... hahas felt the warmth and felt good when ppl gave me pat on my head... be it my friends- gal ,guy , elders-family members., brother, dad or so... hahas but it felt exceptionally good when the person who pat my head is someone special tu me... hahas
Today tht blaw lecturer was so zzzzzz lar.. hahas the way he phrase his qns really vry zzz. hahas. After i ended my blaw tutorial me and Qing took bus home.. she'll meet her bf at clementi central while i change bus tu west coast from there... haahs. but on bus 154 she told me tht she cant meet her bf le... ask whether wan go aniwhr.. coz i ask anione wants to go walk walk jus now in class tu my friends.. so since she have to reach home by 6pm we stayed at one of the HDB block void deck to chat and we ate waffle..ahhas .. we talk from 4.30 to about 6pm... talked about evrything...(girls talk..-heart matters ) hahahs... so yea... wah.. o tired today ... need tu revise my BSTA lecture 3 and 4 notes and finish upp my tutorial 4 ... if not the tutor sae i slow again hahas ... tht's all for sch todae today ..=)
For today no goodmorning msg frm 'him' .. hahas .. but there's a goodnite msg instead the nite b4 ... yea hahas whenever i receive a goodnite msg from "him" b4 i sleep i dun wan tu reply a good nite... coz i knew he will not reply back again... hahs my selfish act..to want him tu end off the day msg. so i rather not reply back in case after i say nites. then no reply... thou there's nth much he can reply liao but i stil wan a reply. hahas so only have to make myself feel better by not replying...=) .. just now when me and QQ talk..yea came to a conclusion tht ya.. who am i to 'him' QQ sae tht he might not be the one for me.. since after o long stil no action nor result... hahs i think tht yea its a bit of wishy washy eh... a downrite NO wuld be a better off solution... hahas i dunno larrh ... since now my feelings dun bother me as much then leave it bah ... i believe in fate.. hahas .. when i'm more free like when i'm having holidays le then i go think of the prob bah hahas. One of my friend told me.. in evry relationship its like a pyramid... both must go hand in hand in other tu reach the nxt lvl.. evry level there's bound to be a obstacle or obstacles. Only to overcome it tgt then the couple will be able tu move on tu the nxt level... if they cant then their relationship is not strong enuf and is not fated to be for eachother...Friends tell me tht they wuld sae break when they quarrel some times... i think tht if you really love someone...the word "break" wun come out so easily... or even if it's said in a moment of anger ...tht party wun mean it actually... unless tht party constantly ask for "break"... sometimes one party say "break" in fit of anger and the other party took it for real and yea bocoz tht party who raises the break does not want to break but had said it and was angry tht the other party took it for real and 'puff' there goes their relationship... gone...
I dun think its easy for a couple who really loves each other to get tgt... and its even more difficult for them tu maintain the relationship... it requies a lot of giving in and its not easy... Look on the streets ... how many can last forever..? it's even more difficult for a couple with different religion tu be tgt .. unless there is compromise, giving in, mutual respect and all... it wuld be even more difficult for different race to be tgt i think hhas .... but well there are so many married couples of diff race .. diff religion and mani mani more... some with disabilities... but love is boundless... hahas tht's wad i think ...
like all my blogpost so long and lo soh hor .. hahas ... hmmm ... i just hope tht "he" is happy evryday .. and i hope i can be happy evryday too... hahas actually me and qq discuss bout msging also.. then for me.. i dun like tu wait too long for msg or for reply... unless tht person is just a vry normal friend tu me... but especially from "him" i always hope he replies fast... and i always had my phone with me all the time...butt saddly... he always take so long tu reply... hmmmm ... ya...somehow or so i wuld feel better when he saes he's sleeping just now tht's why he didn reply... or give me a reson for replying late... but its stil back tu tht qns... who am i to him?? .. he have no reason or need tu reply me immediately or send morning msg to me... thou a morning msg makes me feel so much more happy and i feel good for the day(thou i always hope tht i'll be the first and the last person he'll think of evry day ) ahhas wah i think must get out of dream land liaos... =.=
byes ppl! =))
it ended @ 6:45 PM
I will be waiting
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Just finished my blaw tutorial... tml i having a short test for blaw... but b4 tht i got MAEC lecture followed by MAEC tutorial... =X hmmz... hahs ya.. so stop for a while tu take a 15 mins break b4 i continue with my maec tutorial and revision for blaw test... sianx.. no one's at home... mum went tu fetch bro frm tution class at cck then elder bro not back yet.. kinda bored and scared...=X
hahas aniway someone said all my posting vry emo.. hahas .. ok larrs... i think i'm just relating or expressing out how i feel and think and wish tht's all hahas...
today i saw "him" i was sitting at C1 underpass there de tables with my friends .. he was there too.. i didn notice until when he went off he walk past me and gave me a light knock on my head or a tap bah i shuld sae.. hahas ... well ... i think now i am not so so in pain le or shuld i sae not so hurt?? i've tried to stop giving myself so much stress on this area and insted on my studies bah hahs... i think thou i wuld feel vry sadd or so ... but tht's the process of liking someone isn't it ? hahs.. waiting for him tu start msging me... waiting for him tu start chatting with me on msn instead of me starting a conversation most of the time ... hahs.. somtimes the way i see my friends so busy with their phone smsing... picking upp calls... i was wondering ..has my phone spoiled? or is it jus tht i'm waiting for a particular person's sms? a call whereby someday i pick up the phone and its frm him... hahas zzz so in dreamland rite? hahas ... one day i received just a goodnite sms and the nxt day dun have .. but i got a morning sms instead.. hahas.. can i be greedy enuf to have both? or much more than tht? =P hahs
today when i was in blaw lecture hall 24 ... the rows of the lecture hall were like of a certain height difference .. then i was sitting with my friends on the last 3rd row when i was so sianz tht i almost fell asleep.. so i start moving my chairs ard..( np students u know lecture 24 chairs is fixed yet movable rite? haha coz i dunno how describe) ok then i was playing with the chair i was sitting on and my slippers... and opps!!!
my slippers fell to the row infront( smth like dat) then the ppl infront didn notic.. all guys sumore sia... playing cs i think... or what i dunno ...hahahs. then i tell my friends my slippers drop down ... they laughed.. =( hahs but i was laughing myself too... then after quite a while one of the kind soul infront noticed the slipper looked at me and smile smile smth like dat lar. then he pass the slipper tu me by putting there hahas so i manage tu wear it back.. so paiseh sia.. i dunn wan fidget with slipper nxt time round liao.. =( hahs then there's one guy behind who dropped his mouse .. i turn back and see what happen coz he's rite behind me.. then after he retrives his wired-mouse .. after a while he tab my chair..:" are u hurt?" hahahs i was like laughing liaos... i say huh? oh nono... dunno what he talking about sia at first ... hahahs a bit wols... hehe... okay le.. gotta go study ... wish me luck eh for my test tml...=P hahs byes evryone..=)
it ended @ 8:27 PM
I will be waiting
Monday, May 12, 2008
Always expect the unexpected...- be it good or bad...
today had my dss workshop... our grp is like lagging so far behind le... think have tu hurry and spend more time on it... haix..
tml is poa test le... its 15 mins... =X .. just finished my poa tutorial 3 part 2 and tutorial 4... hiax... hahas .. needa go hand in my dss tutorial practice le... its by tml afternoon thou... hahas..
hmmm.. QQ said smth tht made me stunned... were we discussing who this lu rem jia is... hahas... then she said this..: maybe u dun even like him? maybe its just a crush??
i tot over her question on my way home... if its just a crush ... why had it hurt so much??? filled with hopes this moment .. dissapointed the other moment... aand i dunno what else i want... wah .. days are really passing by fast ... ytd was the first day i met him... one month ago.. hahas ... yea ... and soon my e-learning week will come and followed by my exam week rite after then holidays!!! hahs .. tot of getting a job... those promoter type or so... for a week ? hahas hopefully i get it but not much chance eh... hahs ... tht 2 weeks if no job then i gona be lonely and too free liao ... =( hahas ... study ? sounds no good ? good ? hahas dunno =p
today morning the first thing tht greeted me was the goodnite msg frm him ytd nite.. guess i fell asleep b4 his sms arrive... i slept at 3am !!! hahs yea ... so i send a morning msg back.. but no reply..=( hahs .. so u see.. a moment of happy a moment of sadd..
aniway ... i use to take naps in the afternoon when i was in sec sch ... almost thrice a week at least... coz i use tu sleep late ... now... stil sleep late ( couldn adjust my sleeping time..) but no naps! =( sadd... haiz... so tired of evry thing le... hahas ... maybe just tired of evry thing in my love life ... sometimes how i wish i'm one with no feelings towards love.. then wun so pain rite? hahas but i 've posted in my previous blogpost tht life without love is pathetic and its equals tu a world with no colours... contradicting myself eh? hahas. actually wanted my blog url tu be colourmyworld.blogspot.com de butt i wasn't avaiable... sho sianz lor.. then i used this url... life withcolours .. hahas coz i wan my life with colours and tu be coloured by ppl ...=) hope i can manage tu sleep earlier today.... =))
lu ren jia! who re you!!! i'm really so so so curious tu know... re you on my msn list??? pls tell me who u re...= l
it ended @ 7:55 PM
I will be waiting
Love makes ppl do stupid and dumb things yea? i cant believe i went tu the extent tu charge my phone evry day in the afternoon so i can leave it under my pillow during the nite.. so before i go tu sleep i hope i wuld always receive a msg tht great me goodnite tu end off my day .. and right early in the morning after i wake upp... there'll be a msg tu greet me good morning or either some time ltr... butt most of the time the msg tht ends my day doesn't cum from "him" yet frm other ppl... i really appreciate those sms... and those love and concern frm the others... but i think its not worth it tu worry or be sadd jus becoz i'm sadd... there's this friend of mine... he's a nice guy... i thank him for his advice and all... but u shuld not be unhappi just becoz i'm unhappi...=) hahs aniway ... not onli him... gf ard me really gave me alot of support... both in my love life and sch work... i thank all of u ...=)
Todays song is : 男人女人
女:爱爱爱爱了几回也明白其中滋味
付出的从来不会等于收回
我却还在等待着谁能出现
男:伤伤伤伤了几回也曾经为爱憔悴
爱情里好人总比坏人狼狈
我却还是学不会狠心对谁
女:男人男人多希望你是好人
多希望用你的真让我不必再心疼
男:女人女人我答应做个好人
我答应用我一生来换你的快乐一生
女:爱爱爱爱了几回也明白其中滋味
付出的从来不会等于收回
我却还在等待着谁能出现
男:伤伤伤伤了几回也曾经为爱憔悴
爱情里好人总比坏人狼狈
合:我却还是学不会狠心对谁
女:男人男人多希望你是好人
多希望用你的真让我不必再心疼
男:女人女人我答应做个好人
我答应用我一生来换你的快乐一生
女:男人男人多希望你是好人
多希望用你的真让我不必再心疼
男:女人女人我答应做个好人
合:不会再让我(你)心疼
一等再等你就是我等的那个人
男:男人男人
女:女人女人
合:多么希望你是对的人
nities evry one....=)
it ended @ 2:21 AM
I will be waiting
Sunday, May 11, 2008
JUst finish having steamboat with my grandma, aunt and family members... hahas ... ate so mani things.. butt i was too full to continue so i stop halfway ..hahas ... tml must go for smth light .. todays dinner was just too filling... throughout todaY i waited for someone sms... waited and waited and waited ... say will sms me... butt i didn receive ani at all... such a dumbie rite? just like waiting for smth tht will nv come true or happen... stupid... = l
Tht day tht somebody tht mention he wuld like tu colour my life de guy sms me again ytd... among one of his last sms he said: " so what time u sleeping princess?" my reply was :" when have i became a princess? hahs" . he said " ever since tht day i wanted tu colour yr life.." ...
how i wish tht sentence was said by "him" and not this guy... i said tu tht guy..: " you want tu colour my life as a friend rite?" he said: " maybe more than just friends.."
How i wish all these were said by "him"... all the loving and caring words... my msn nick ytd nite was ' i think u got the wrong idea ' and "he" ask me why my msn nick liddat... so i told him abt it.. and he tease me for it... then i said..
me: ok lorr .. continue teasing...
he:okay lah...i am sorry my princess...
he: LOL
he:dun be sadd please...(:
me: hahs
how i wish i have the courage tu ask him .. : do you really mean what u say?
but i didn.... now today..it's like i am waiting for the whole day ... =( maybe it's really one-sided... really .." being in love is better than falling in love.."
how much you give doesn't mean you will get the same amount back... tht's love... someone on my tagg box ..lu ren jia.. said i'm the fish tht got caught on the hook...yea i am ... but how tu get freed? i dunno how tu free myself from this... or have i choosen tu get caught myself? or did i just dunn wan tu be freed?
someone once asked me... can you choose who you want tu love???
my ans was: i dunno... maybe yes maybe no... ? you can choose tu love someone ..... develope feelings over the time.... tht's how most couple last and tht's how most friends of mine got tgt... but ... love is a special feeling for only tht someone onli ... isn't it??? you also have no idea why you fall for tht person .... some couples get tgt for each other's looks , some for figure .. butt i think if u love tht special someone ...he/she is always the bez in yr heart isn't it? tht's why there's a saying: love is blind.... coz u dun need tu hav a reason to love tht special someone... tht's my opinion la... i am not well experienced in love ... i 'd never tried really being in love...to love and at the same time being love... i regret my folly in the past tht results in hurting someone so much more than than i've hurt myself. Thus this time round i dun wan history to repeat itself in tht way ... butt little have i expected history to repeat itself in another way...( the way tht i have hurt myself by liking someone) this time round .. i feel the hurt much more earlier and the impact was so much harder... moreover he's a shy one... my friend say he's just playing : "trying hard to get" . i dunno... i dun want tu say bad things abt him... just like i wun say bad things abt my true friends... to like or love someone...u've tu accept he/she the way they are...
love is so vexing huh..... got to consider so many factors.. why cant love be simple? or am i just making things complicated???
it ended @ 9:15 PM
I will be waiting
Saturday, May 10, 2008
A korean song... it tells my feelings..
Why am i in this state
To you we're not compatible
Why can't i control myself
You won't like me like that....
You made me sad
But i can't bring myself to hate you
for my desire for you...
Is it really ok??
Cann i ignore evything??
I don't want this to be one-sided
So i pretended to laugh happily
You made me sadd
Yet i can't bring myself to hate you
for my desire for you...
But smth tht won't happen no matter what
is that i can't live in your world
Can't live in a world without you
If it's an illusion
i won't hurt so much
I'm really in pain
I'm really in pain
What are you still hoping for?
He won't come looking for you..
Can't live in a world without you..
I was chatting with a friend of mine... he's got some prob with his gf ... while i got some prob with the one i like... it's like when ever i feel like giving it upp there's a glimpse of hope tht made me cling on... i shared my prob with him.. he's like brother of mine... giving me advice and guiding me...he mention tht his gf seems tu be distant frm him... and aask why... i said i dunno... coz for me... the only reason i will distant myself away from my bf is tht i dun feel comfortable or secured with him yet... but for me ... i rather like my relationship tu be one tht i feel protected... and vry close tu my bf... i wuld prefer tu be the one who say goodnite at the end of the day and recieiving a return goodnite msg from my bf tu end off the day's coversation... ya i know i am selfish tu have this kinda thinking... tu find someone who love me more than i do...tu care so much for me.. and place me first in almost evrything..(depending la) =X... i know its selfish ... but i cant help it... i am those tht would like tu be cared for and ya.. protected.. want a relationship whereby my bf is vry uptighht or would i say vry concern abt me... not those like a call or two in 3 days... or just a few sms per day... i think how a person wants a relationship to go is very different for evryone... i once thought to myself... am i able tu give him upp? will i die if i let him go? so what if he's mine now?
i think if i were tu do all the asking and all for this relationship.. even if we get tgt i wuld feel weird.. maybe at first.. ? or throughout? coz i will always wonder... has he accepted me becoz he really likes me? or was it for other reason? tht's the reason for me tu stop here and wait for his move... coz i want the feeling tht he really wants me coz he love me...tu do smth tht make me feel tht he really wants me... and not just a one-sided love... letting him go isnt easy and wasnt smth i can control... ask my heart if u wann knoe why...coz even i myself dunno...
that friend of mine also told me tu consider carefully b4 falling deeper... i wonder if religion affects a relationship???? i once asked " him" and "he" told me no.. he dun think so.....
sometimes i think whether did i interpret his msg properly...or did he type wrongly...
his actions is like 忽冷忽热... sometimes he's so close and nice tu me.. sometimes its like so 'cold' as in like even thou both of us on msn vry long also nv chat ... i was waiting for him tu start talking tu me... butt at first he didn... but due tu his internet connection.. his mutiple signing in gave me a chnace tu start off a qns... but sm times i wuld jus ignore... coz i dun wan tu be irritating.. slowly he did start tu talk tu me... he said i could chat with him anytime if i wan... so isnt it 忽冷忽热??? hahas i dunno.. butt i am a vry sensitive gal... can be strong on the outside,bold,high, optimistic and craze at times... butt at times i really hope tu lean on someone, tu hav pillar of support frm inside,and i can be vry quiet,pesstimistic and very shy. It just depend on the ppl ard me and the mood ... my mood and feelings and subjective tu the ppl ard me...
ok back tu the topic... i think it will onli not affect if both parties are not sososo into their religion ... or like they dun cross over the line by FORCING the other party tu join his/her religion....
i asked my friend ... he say he and his gf have no prob coz... he's a freethinker( he goes tu church) whereas his gf is ok with anything... he say he's willing tu even to follow his gf religion .. as long as he can be tgt with her ... - wah...O.0
somtimes i see couple tht one is indian... one is chinese... they hav diff religion.. diff race... and they can overcome tht prob... whao... really ... praises for them... i think as long as in a relationship both parties respect each orther religion and dun cross over the line and each tu give in a bit here and there... things will be fine... rite?
nowadays i am getting a bit craze... the way i see others sms... their phone keep ringing.. was wondering... why doesn't my phone ring? why doesn it virbrate(sms)???
who am i waiting tu call me??? who am i expecting tu sms me.???? it all amounts to one person ... and its "him" ...
hahas waiting for something tht doesn't seem tu happen is as good as living in my own world.. my fantasy world... butt isnt fantasy world suppose tu be smth beautiful???
( omg i posted 3 blog post in less than 6 hours or so.... ) nities evryone..
it ended @ 2:58 AM
I will be waiting
Friday, May 09, 2008
Someone... told me tht he wuld like tu colour my life.... can he??.. hahahs... ... how i wish this was said tu me by "him"... yessh anyone can fill my life with colours...thx and u are so welcome tu colour my life.... but in mani different ways... tu make me happi as friends ....loved by family members.....and all those who shared the joy and laughter, saddness and cries... butt there's a special place ... reserved for a special someone... and now it has been reserved by me for " him" .... ( i have started the engines of the car...waiting for u on the passenger seat... u are the driver now... u can choose tu take the intiative tu complete the journey with me ... or u can just tell me and leave the driver's seat...) To him: i have taken a vry big step for the vry first time... thus i'll stick tu my perception on taking the first move and i wun budge.... coz u have tu try and take yr first step for the first time too...
hope all wuld be well..=)
it ended @ 8:04 PM
I will be waiting
ARRGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! i hate tking MRT and BUS frm 5.30pm tu 8 pm... Especially the MRT!!! today i went tu Ah ma ( paternal grandma ) hse to celebrate mother's day earlier...took 154 tu clementi ... sososo packed... but at least i was one of the earlier ones tu get on the bus so i manage a seat... butt things got worse when i came tu the mrt.... it was very very packed and i was packed in btwn ppl... when i alighted at jurong east i found a place tu stand the wait for the mrt at the middle platform... when the mrt came...the ppl rush like anything...!!!! i was being pushed into the mrt by the flow... i wanted tu stand at the door there at first ... but was being pushed in.... the ppl really squeeze like hell !!!! wah ......... i am not just packed in btwn ppl... i am SQUASHED!!!! =(
sadd man... hiax ... then i saw a couple... the guy protecting the gal from all the squeezing... whaa.... hahahs...so envious... heh heh...
By the way ... one of my friend ask me ..what's the difference btwn jealous and envy...she sae she thinks its the same.. i dun think so... i think jealous is more tu the bad side whereas envy is more tu the good side... when u envy a couple... u give them yr blessings and ya hope u one day will be like dat too... whereas when u are jealous.. its like the guy u like... is walking with another gal...thus arousing yr jealously.... coz u wanted tht guy... if not u wun feel jealous ...something like dat i guess... hahas tht's my perception la... =)
anw one of my friend jus got a new bf... =O ... hahas and the other friend of mine was betting with me tht they wun last..... i think if they go mutually just for looks... they probably wun last long... if it's for the fun of it ... i dun think they'll last too hahas... But if they truly love each other hahas yeah ... they will last !!! hahas ... and they have my blessings!!! =)
oh ... i am so hungry now!!!! still waiting for other relative tu come b4 the dinner can start ...=/ ( will post again ltr when i reach home... hahahs... will add a lyric of a song then...)
it ended @ 7:36 PM
I will be waiting
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Mixed feelings... i tot i told mention it tu him many a times... he still dun get it... till i spelled it out ... ... sometimes i'm contradicted by the way he speaks... yeah .. just so contradicting... does religion pose as a prob in realtionship? was my curious qns for ytd... today my curious qns is ... is a person who is slow in learning able tu succeed ? i think different ppl will have different ans tu my curious qns...
think i'm getting really lost in this world... it seems so comlicated ... or am i the one confusing myself? sometimes i wake up feeling restless and sadd... dunno why .... seems like i have a lot of prob troubling me... butt i think its up tu me to choose the way i wan tu live my life... in saddness or with smiles... i tried .. really tried tu fill my life with smiles.. butt sometimes there's thing that wuld made me cry .... maybe i take things too seriously and i am over sensitive tu certain things that had cause me to becum llike dat ... i try tu change... tu a positive mindset... butt it'll take me time... and i wonder how long will it take me...
"My Wish" [it's dedicated tu "u"...]
I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,Yeah, this, is my wish.
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big
it ended @ 4:31 PM
I will be waiting
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Tml is thursday le... somehow thurs seems like the last day of studying of the week coz on fri i onli got a 2 hour lesson of IS and becoz of tht i always go sch at 1030am just tu slack ard with friends... Got to know tht next week got quizzes coming upp... haix hahas... Well tht's all for sch ..
Today during MAEC class me and QQ so called coverse thru a piece of paper...she asked me if i still feel sadd or what ... i sae nope ... i'm in fact feeling good..=) hahs ..
she: so u gave upp on liking him alrdy ??
me: no... i still like him... its onli that i have straighten out my thinking ler...for me i think
if i like someone...i will continue liking ... liking someone doesn't mean its a must tu have
him for myself... coz he might not like me...i still like him coz for me it isn't so easy to say
want give upp then can give upp de... if say give upp liking tht person and nxt u like
another tht isn't call like...its just a crush ...
hahas the coversation on tht piece of paper went on throghout the lesson ..( butt we got pay attention to the tutor hor !!! hahs) butt at least i think i cann focuse a bitt better on my studies now le... hahs ..
I met ? [ '?' is used to safeguard her privacy...=) ] and her friends today after my BLAW lecture ends... we sat down tu talk and so on... we waited for ? another friend tu come b4 we go for dinner tgt( supposely onli me and her) then in the end me ,? , one of our sec sch mate and ? friend went for dinner tgt at west mall... on the bus i got to know tht she'd broke upp with her bf tht lasted less than a week... i was shocked... she said they didn made it... she felt embarrased walking with him... i asked why ... she said coz his actions are acting as if he's a himbo, acting dumb.. me as her friend i onli cann listen... coz its not good to give comments on this sort of things... hahs... she mention tht when she's sick ... he onli said: u go home rest early k? ... didn send her back nor anything... i cann understand her ideal type of guy she's looking for ... hahas.... ah i saw one of the sc of other grps.... he's with his gf... holding hands walking past atrium... wah ... so nice sia... hahs .. its like he's so proud of his gf ... showing her off .... hahs.... thou she's not those like erm very pretty de.. butt i think pretty is subjective and it's in the eyes of the beholders ... tht's why different ppl attract different types of ppl...hahas. i think in the eyes of yr partner u're always the most beautiful ... hahs ...
U guys believe in horoscope? i believe..... hahas. i dunno why ... butt i do believe... well my take on love is tht i dun need to change myself throughly tu fit the "him" or " his" ideal her... i think it shuld be the same for evry one isn't it?? if u really like someone... u like him for who he is ... and not to change yrself tu suit him... coz tht's not u le... evry one is unique in their own way ... and maybe tu accomodate each other and change in small little ways tht might be yr own flaws.. butt not tu change the way u dress ... the way u talk ... ur character and all just tu suit him... if u like someone... u'll like evry thing of him/her and to accept the way he/she is... to take in his/her flaws and accept it... =)
actually i'm feeling fine ler hahas. butt dunno why when ? told me about she and her bf incident... and after we talked i feel so down ... for what i also dunno... just could'n really cheer upp... guess its just mood swing?? hahas... talking about mood... how well can a guy accomodate his gf for her temper her mood swings and all? hahs sometimes i'm just so curious and got so mani qns to ask ... hehehe=)
OHHH!!! i finally manage tu stop myself from drinking lychee red tea jelly with no pearls today ..=) hahs ... sorethroat is gone! hahas... thx to tht whole bottle of water that i drank upp..=) i drank fruit juice after lunch todae... ORANGE W APPLE W CARROT!!! its super nice hahas... realli.....i intro tu friends they also say nice... butt today that auntie make the drink ... think she putt too much carrot todae... taste so yucky coz a lot of the pulp and the residue thing... all the other time round when i drank its so nice... and i always enjoyed it ...=) hahas.. tml got BSTATS tutorial and POA lecture..=( hahas haven finish my BSTATS tutorial hmwk yet ..=X haha.. we miss last thurs tutorial ... dunno when's the make up yet...=( hmmz... tht's all for todae... =)
it ended @ 7:34 PM
I will be waiting
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Today's May the 6th le!!! hahas this sun is mother's day... My beloved 婆婆( maternal grandma) is coming to my house tgt with arh yiie ..=)) hahs we're having steamboat tgt ..=P
hehs ... so we'll go shop for the food on sunday early afternoon hahas... its fun doing groceries shopping..=) Butt before tht ... wad shuld i get for mummy and grandma?? hahs... well i still got few more days tu think i guess..=) tml i'm having MAEC lecture and MAEC tutorial... then BLAW... = ... its not tht bad isn't it? hahas... just tht i've tu sleep early if not i'll doze off in MAEC lecture tml... hahs ... actually i'm not feeling vry well now... ='( thts why i need slp early.. hiax... having slight sorethroat and tu think tht i still went for kaki fuyong and lychee red tea-jelly w no pearls ... no wonder it got worse... bag vry heavy ... need bring DSS txt book and POA tb on evry tues... so no waterbottle for me on tues...= wonder is it the sorethroat or am i just not feeling well.? feel so unwell ... tht's all i cann describe... wanted to skip dinner butt daddy's home so i have tu join for dinner... manage a few bites ... took onli the soupy things... haix... hahas ... hope i'll feel better tml ... it'll be bez if the slight sorethroat has subside...
someone went to play soccer today and got himself a cut and sprain... do be careful...=)) hahas...
remembered tht day my bro went tu play soccer and came back with a cut near his eyes... thx tu his specs... hahs...
tml got 6 hours of class and onli 1 hour of break...from 1-2pm... guess i'm not bring lappy tml ... unless hahas i feel like bringin! nites evry one....=)
it ended @ 10:15 PM
I will be waiting
Got blaw lecture ltr...
ZZZZZZZZ hahas... actuaaly blaw is sort of interesting... coz i quite like law... onli tht got lots of thing tu memorise... butt i think its better than bstats ... and maec... =) hahas maybe bah.. let me take time tu acustom tu the new topicss i learning
it ended @ 2:13 PM
I will be waiting
The last thing i'd expected is u to avoid tht particular qns..
"loving u is difficult but besides u i wun want tu love anione else..."(quoted) this is what i want tu say tu u .... be it u see this blog or not ... hahas i've said it... this is my first time tu go this far ... to fight for what i wan... fought for it ... butt dun seem tu get it haha...
Well somebody said this tu me... " 是你的终究会是你的。。。“... hahas sleeping soon ler... wan an le evrybdy ... really thx to all those that is beside me when i need them ...
=))
it ended @ 1:06 AM
I will be waiting
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Sometimes i wonder will he ever call me someday some night tu chat... maybe just talk about his prob or troub ... or share anything hahas... i think... if its the gal who intiatiates the realtionship first... then in that paticular realtionship.... will it always be the gal who does the intiative in everything too? doesn't tht leave the gal to be dominative??....once he told me... he said tht if he were to have a gf ... he would announced to everybody that she is his... i was so so so surprised... coz i nv tot he is those type tht wuld do tht... to be so proud of his gf.. and to announced it... butt sonner or ltr ... i found out tht he does not does the initiating... then... i duno... sort of contradicted by his words... my friend told me tht maybe only to start a relationship he does not do the initiative maybe coz he's really shy.... butt that does not mean tht in the rest of the relationship it would remain tht way... it might be tht onli after they get tgt then he will show how much he realli likes the gal thru actions like what he mention ... to tell evryone... tht gal is his... ... tht sentence of his realli realli awes me and i admire him for tht in the first place... sometimes i wonder ... does he ever ask a gal on a date??? hahs... i think i'm thinking too much ... hahas.... well there's quite a lot of un-answered qns in my heart tht i hope to get the ans ... butt maybe i can just leave it can i ???
exams are starting on 30th of this month... just weeks away... i haven start revising.... zzz... i dun wan to lagg brhind realli... either i just ask and get a definite ans ... or i really shuld just leave it... butt just leaving it liddat its going to budge me forever ..hahas... my friends are like telling me ... ask and dun have regrets.. coz they had and they regretted.... .... ... .... ... .... ... .... ...
Arggh.... dss dss dss dss.... oh..... dss ... i'm realli getting prob with my dss... really need some help with it... pity my bro is not in sch of bA... and does not study dss ... if not... i can get help from him... =(.... haix... need to seriously get some help soon... exams are realli drawing near...
it ended @ 7:18 PM
I will be waiting
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Today went grocery shopping hahas... sort of enjoyed it... putting the things u like into the shopping trolley..=) hahas. nothing much today .. jus sort of slack ard..=P ... Btw.. exams comming le..=( i's on 30th may... haix.. so fast eh... time really passes in a flash...
when i came online there's this friend of mine.. quarrelled with gf and ask me for help..hahs.. well it goes like this..
he: she say she tink i got other gals outside then she also go get new bf...
me: any idea why she said tht? coz she is jealous ... thus u muz understand...
he: i lost my temper
me: ya... actually she said tht to spite u coz she really love u ...she's afraid of losing u thus she'll
say things tu spite u and hoping tht u will say smth tu make her feel more at ease. Think...
if u had make her feel tht she's loved .. she wun get jealous so easily and will definitely
trust u more...
he: ya ... evrytime i make a new female friend she wuld say a lot of things jus to spite me..
me: see... coz she's really afraid of losing u ..
he: butt i am angry at what she say
me:ya u're angry coz she sae she'll go find a new bf to spite u... i think it always take 2 hands
clap. If she feel secure she wun sae tht ... she wun sae .. u wun angry. maybe u 2 can take
time tu sit down and talk it out... but no quarrels ... once u 2 start to quarrel...stop! leave it
for nxt time..
he: how am i going tu talk tu her since i'm the one who lost my temper first?
me: well... if u really love her.. apologise first ! u are the guy.. take the first move..thou it might
not be yr fault in this case.. butt if u explain tu her tht u understand why she said tht and
thus why u had lost yr temper... i believe she'll sae sorry too... coz she too love u ... in a
relationship it takes two to give in order to last... u 2 have my blessing..
hahs.. hope he wun mind me posing this coversation.. ( rest assure i wun devulge yr name..=) )
well... sometimes i see couple friends of mine quarreling over minor things... its sort of a happiness isn't it... its better than there is no brickering and all... then when both made it upp.. they had went a step further in their relationship.. coz they had understand each other more and able tu love each other more... those who usually truly love each other .. their love will endure til marrige and til death... "till death wil us part"... =) thats the way it shuld be isn't it?
well guys ... i think guys shuld take initiative in most things... to jio the gal... to pacify ( tho not unreasonably) to ask for date ... to most things... isn't it? dun tell me u eexpect the gal tu do those things... ya maybe some gals will... yes to express their feelings for the guy she realli likes maybe butt for me... i think i wun go to the extend to do things i think shuld be the guy doing... coz guys in that way will be more protective? dunno wads the word... butt just think that gal shuld do those... if not .. if its the gal who does all the asking and all... the gal wuld eventually be dorminating in tht paticular relationship... hey bring out yr guts... ask... dun be shy... if not u'll miss the oppotunity and miss her forever... =)
it ended @ 11:43 PM
I will be waiting
Friday, May 02, 2008
I realli felt so touched .. ppl ard me are giving me all kind of supports.. butt what surprises me most is that the ppl whom i receive support and encouragement from are the friends tht just got in contact and some that i seldom talked to.. once ... a so called uncle of mine ( chef at previous workplace) he told me that i may be surprised that in years down the road maybe 10 yrs ltr ... those so called friends that i used to hang out with after class for shooping and all will not be there for me in times of need... whereas those who realli care for u will be those that did not go party with u ... those are real friends... to care for u no matter when... u will be surprise who those ppl will be in years to come... ya .. so now i knoe part of it alrdy... who are those tht take me for granted ... friends are to be cherished... and i believe 1 or 2 good friends would be enuf... coz they will be onli those who are true tu u ...
on my way home jus now from lms lesson... yan ling went off to meet her friends and i walked to the busstop op np with kai jun and hup song.. kai jun was walkinh in front busily with his phone... when i was crossing the road i didn notice the oncoming motorcycle ... luckily hup song pull me back ... but this is not the first time i nv watch out for cars le... omg... haix... thx tu him anw...
how i hope the one who will walk thru all the roads in my life would be 'him'. ya friends will be there tu save or help me... butt its not evrytime... i noe i have to learn to look after myself... butt sometimes one will hope tht someone would always will be there for u ...
it ended @ 11:23 PM
I will be waiting
At lib now... it doesn't seem as bad as it is... at least its more quiet than our space... hahas... didn do much just now... came tu sch at 1030 and slack till bout 1230. Rushed for my lms assignment ytd night... finally i've finished it..
Sometimes i wonder.. he he ever knows abt my feelings... i sae le .. but he's like no reaction ... wads tht ? dunn understand.. hahas.. i actually also dunno wad i wan... its like ok for eg .. if i get a fail for a subject u will definitely hope for a pass... but when i worked hard and only get a C i will be aasking myself ... why have i worked so hard and only got a C ? when i have only hoped for a pass.. tht means i'll hardly be satisfied tilli get what i really wan... who doesn't want the best??? or who doesn't hope for the best ?? ... zzz
i think i must really get myself occupied ... in order to forget the pain...=)
it ended @ 2:11 PM
I will be waiting
JUst finish my IS module assignment... took so long to do it...=((
i finally sum up all my courage and ask him le ... took me so much time and courage..
butt the ans is not a definite ans... is it?? i am like stuck... if the ans is a straight no... i will put this feeling down with no regrets... butt ... with this kindof ans...
hahs... qq say he needs time... i dun think so ... we'll see ba... for now i think we remain as friends wuld be best...=)) tml still have to go our space at 1030 with qq... then meeting yanling,hup song, kai jun at 1230 ...=))
it ended @ 12:05 AM
I will be waiting
